Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Spiritus Intus Alit

The spirit nourishes within.

I'm Chelo. July 19th, 2012 my sweet baby was born into Heaven. Here, I write to Angel, vent about the healing process, and ramble about anything else on my mind. I'm simply along for the ride.

I miss you so much, Angel… :( Every second of every day. Some times it feels like the only thing in the world that could comfort me is to hold you. I would trade anything just to count your toes, play with your hair, or have your little fingers wrapped around mine.
It’s amazing how the thought of you can both tear me down and make me the happiest woman alive. Its so bittersweet. But wasn’t it all?
I try my best to keep positive and make you proud of me. I thought I had peiced myself back together, but the truth is, I think I’m still broken. That empty feeling never went away… Daddy and I will stay strong though. For you. ♥After all, we only have the best guardian Angel imaginable! Don’t ever forget how much we love you, baby.

I love you more than life itself.
- Mommy

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Mommy loooooves you, oh so very much!!

But my gosh, I miss you horribly. What I wouldn’t give to hold you and kiss you. Mwah mwah mwah!! :*

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Daddy thinks about you all the time too. I love talking about you with him :) It makes me feel a little better, and the love I see in his eyes when he talks about you is beautiful. You are very very loved and missed. You will always be our baby. <3

Missing you like crazy, little one!

Love always and forever,

- Mom


Sarah Wilkins - Dealing with miscarriage for Glow Magazine


Sarah Wilkins - Dealing with miscarriage for Glow Magazine

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Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
Norman Cousins  (via recognizedsaint)

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I know I haven’t written to you in a while… I talk to you often, but I wish I would get around to writing more. Of course, you know how busy things have been lately. You sent me a new job and everything! I don’t think I will ever stop thanking you for that, baby. Its not too often you get approached and handed a job, usually people have to search and search. Motherhood Maternity is going to be a good place for me, and you knew that. It will certainly help me with the healing process, and hopefully I will be able to help others along the way. Thank you so much for looking out for me and your daddy. We should both be starting our new jobs within the next week or two. How exciting!!!

Your due date/memorial is coming up. It’s right around the corner… I’m stressing already. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been if Daddy and I had to plan this on our own. We haven’t had to do much but pick the songs we want played, and that was emotionally wearing enough. We have wonderful families, Angel. We all love you so much!! For some reason, I can think about you and be happy. It’s not without pain, but I can see the good and I can feel all of the love. However when I think about your memorial I can’t keep myself together. I’m still not sure if I want to hold the memorial, but I know we should. It is for the better, and it is something we need.

Sometimes when I think of the pregnancy, it feels like a dream. I remember when we were meeting with the funeral director. It was odd sitting there signing papers and making arrangements for you when you were still a part of me. You were still alive and strong. The woman was telling me that she would do her best to get us plenty of things to remember you by (pictures, blanket, foot/hand prints etc…) because it can seem like a dream later. I thought she was crazy, everything was more than real. I didn’t think it would ever feel like a dream, but I guess I was wrong.

Thank you again, sweetie for taking such good care of Daddy and I. We had planned for it to be the other way around, but there were plans greater than ours. You are the best thing that has ever happened me, and I hope I make you proud every single day. I’m sure a proud Mommy!

Lots of love, hugs, and kisses!!!


- Mommy

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Richard Wilkinson : ‘Something In the Air’ process GIFs

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